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" Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." Wife: "What does that mean? " So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!

" Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK? " His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family." A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex.

It's very important that you not call it the "ugly baby" joke and you not mention the baby/monkey in the first sentence or in the woman's complaint to the conductor. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me? "There was a bug in your soup, but now it's gone." Sherlock Holmes and Dr. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. The bus driver is a little shocked, but she pulls herself together and says "My, what unusual green hair! "All in one motion, the girl puts the heel of her hand at her chin, and pushes upward as she produces an enormous, juicy "Sneeee-r-r-r-rk! Continuing with her whole hand flat on her forehead, she pushes upward and backwards, running her fingers through her hair.

Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see." Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that? Finally, she drops her hand and says, innocently, "No idea!

That baby looks in a mirror, it's going to shatter. That baby is just ugly."The woman, horrified, stands up and shouts for the conductor. The waiter sets it down in front of him, and stands back to watch him enjoy it. " The librarian hands over a few books and again watches the chicken drag them away. Drops the books on the desk, and says, "Book, Book, Book, BOOK!!

"Conductor, this man has insulted me.""I'm so sorry, ma'am," the conductor replies. But the man just sits there."Is there something wrong? "This time, once the chicken is out the door, the librarian follows — across the street, through a field, and down the hill to a small pond.

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After ten more long minutes her phone finally buzzed.

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Then, when I had my own 6 children, they were told and retold...yet today!

Now they are repeated to grandchildren and great grandchildren - and their fresh peals of laughter still rings in my ear.

We'll give you a nice seat in the first-class carriage — and a banana for your monkey."A classic dating at least to the 1950s, the extended Flip Wilson version above is the earliest on the internet. "The frog hops over, uses the front leg to push through the pile, and says: "Read it, read it, read it..." A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?